Moving parts (Rated R!)

The chain was on the little ring and wouldn't budge after I got to the top of Roger Canyon, but I didn't know I'd done any damage until a short uphill on the return trip. That's when I tried to go back to the little ring and instead the cable along the downtube went slack.

At home Tuesday night I tried to tighten the front derailleur, but it still seemed to hang from its braze-on clamp by a thread. I walked it up to Fine Edge, located in a nondescript strip mall about three blocks from my place, and got a diagnosis: the front derailleur, seven years old and part of a sturdy original set of components, was shot. Done. Dead. The cables I replaced two years ago were fine but the front derailleur was toast.

Next order of business: Get another one. Fine Edge didn't have one, and as the wrench's boss was out of town, there was no ordering one, at least until he's back in the store next week. The one I have is a Shimano Tiagra, a group Shimano discontinued in recent years, so it's a hard-to-find model.

He recommended I go to Pedal House, located downtown, the place where I had my bike's mojo restored before the season started. No problem, I thought, those guys seem to have it together. Right, I should point out this is the place that didn't have a single road bike tube or CO2 canister when last I visited. Oh well, getting desperate...

Pedal House had one front derailleur, a nice Shimano Dura-Ace thing that costs $200 or so. Not the kind of money I want to crank into a lame-duck bike, so they offered to order the Shimano Tiagra front derailleur. I agreed, and then the wrench informed me that orders can only be placed on Tuesdays. Did I mention it's Wednesday at this point? Well, it's Wednesday at this point. So they'll order it next Tuesday, and, in their words, it might be in on Friday. Might. That means it might get in Thursday, and it might get in Saturday. I have a race next Saturday. Fuuuuuuuuuck. I told them to place the order.

In my desire to keep my dollars local it never occurred to me to check the shops in Fort Collins, a little less than 70 miles to the south. I spent part of my Thursday doing that, starting with Lee's Cyclery, a place where I'd spent a fair amount of money over the years. They were the affiliate bike shop for the Northern Colorado Triathlon Club, of which I was a member briefly. Nothing. They then referred me to Peloton Cycles, another affiliate of the NCTC, now with a branch in Fort C after years with one spot in Loveland. The guy on the other end said "Yes, we have a Shimano Tiagra."

This is where it gets interesting. Because there are so many options for bike parts, I ran down the taxonomy of this part — Shimano Tiagra, road bike (because the part also exists for mountain bikes), double chainring (because some road bikes have triples for spinning up mountain passes), front derailleur (as opposed to a rear), nine-speed (because they come in eight- and 10-speed models). Got all that? I thought I did.

At work, our admin headed off on vacation at 3 p.m. With my immediate boss already on vacation, I can't say I was too motivated to stick around with a bike part waiting for me in Colorado. I left about a half-hour later. Another hour-and-a-half later and I was standing at the service counter at Peloton Cycles. The wrench went to the stack of boxes and pulled out a rear derailleur. Nope, I need a front. Next to the cash box was a front derailleur. Shimano Tiagra. Nine-speed.

Triple chainring.

I swear I said I needed a double on the phone. I was ready to fling my bike through one of the big bay windows. Holy shit, was I pissed. Next stop, Performance Bike Shop on College Avenue. I had no plan for what to do if they didn't have the part. I guess I'd head back to Pedal House, tell them to order the fucking thing, and place my faith in FedEx or UPS. Lo and behold, Performance had an Ultegra to fit my bike, which is two steps up from the Tiagra. They charged me $50, which was a guess because this particular Ultegra had been discontinued as well. Nice of them to cut me a break; it listed for $59.99.

Now, to get it installed. They could get me in Monday. Fuuuuuuck. I decided to buy the derailleur and take it back to Fine Edge to install, and when I put forth that option the wrench there nodded her head and mouthed the words "That's what I would do, too." Today (Friday), the wrench at Fine Edge told me I could bring it by Sunday and watch the process.

Why would I want to watch the process? Because my oldest sister has been giving me shit about doing bike repairs myself. "You can find instructions anywhere online," she says. Her husband piled on, too. I counter that I did not inherit dad's gene for tinkering/fixing things/patience with moving parts, which is why I've "wasted" hundreds of dollars on repairs and installations over the years. Deb and Kevin think that's nonsense, that anyone can learn how to fix anything (at the risk of making a scene at Thanksgiving I'll ask if they change their own oil and rotate and balance their own tires, since you can "find instructions to fix anything online"). Even if I can find instructions for putting things together, I follow them to the letter and still find a way to fuck it up. That's all right for assembled furniture, but my bike is not something I'll leave to chance. I'd rather have it done right by a pro and be lighter in the wallet than do it myself and possibly make the situation worse.

Take what you've just read, a week before my next race, and put it within 48 hours of a race. Now do you see why I'm such a basket case about this shit?